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Funny Corporate Tales

Sarcasm involves saying one thing and meaning the opposite. Adapted from Reader's digest: Very few companies require any physical-fitness program. Everybody gets enough exercise 'jumping' to the conclusion, 'running' late to the meetings, 'dodging' the responsibilities, 'flexing' their muscle to prove their superiority, 'beating' around the bush, 'walking' around the policies, 'fudging' the data, 'painting' the grim picture of the situation and 'fighting' like fools!

Who will Bell the Cat? This is a story about four people named 'Everybody', 'Somebody', 'Anybody' and 'Nobody'. There was an important job to be done and 'Everybody' was asked to do it. 'Everybody' was sure 'Somebody' would do it. 'Anybody' could have done it, but 'Nobody' did it. 'Somebody' got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. 'Everybody' thought 'Anybody' could do it but 'Nobody' realized that 'Everybody' wouldn't do it. It ended up that 'Everybody' blamed 'Somebody' when 'Nobody' did what 'Anybody' could have done.

HERD MENTALITY: There are many versions of the tale. One version describes it Birbal's way to set the expectations right when Akbar was boasting about his supreme authority and absolute compliance he enjoyed from the public (subject, प्रजा) he ruled. Another version is based on the thought process of humans. Now Akabar-Birbal story: Once Akbar heard that every man thinks differently. He asked Birbal whether it is true or not? Birbal said, "No, Your Majesty! In fact, wise men think alike." Akbar was interested to know more about and said, "Birbal, You will have to prove your saying." The next day, Birbal asked all the attendants of the palace to empty the royal pond. Then he announced to the people in the city to pour a glass of milk in the pond during the night. He also informed Akbar on his act (and what Birbal expected in the pond the next day). The next day morning, Akbar and Birbal went to the pond to see the pond was filled with water. Akbar was surprised and asked Birbal, "Why this pond is filled with water instead of milk?" Birbal politely said, "Your Majesty! Everybody has deliberately poured a glass of water in the pond yesterday night. Because they think all others will pour milk and no one could find that they pour water in the pond." That is why it is said that "Wise men think alike".


Knowledge vs Skill vs Expertize

Skill and Knowledge

ज्ञान Knowledge दक्शता या निपुणता Skill and/or Competence पारंगत और बुद्धिमत्ता Expertize and/or Intelligence
हथौरे से कील को लकड़ी मैं ठोका जा सकता है The fact that a hammer is used to force a nail in wood हथौरे से कील को लकड़ी मैं सीधे तरीके से और बिना किसी नुकसान के एक ही प्रयास मैं ठोकना - the ability to use hammers and pierce nails in woods repeatedly without any damage पहले एक पतली कील से मोटी कील की नोक के लिये रास्ता बनाना - use innovative methods to reduce the time and damage to apply nails of different diameters without need of special tools
स्वादिस्ट सब्जी के लिये विभिन्न प्रकार के मशाले, ताजी एवम अच्छी गुण्वत्ता की सामाग्री - information that good quality raw materials and spices are needed to make a vegetable अच्छी तरह से पकाय हुआ सब्जी कम तेल के प्रयोग से - a well-cooked food बहूत स्वादिस्ट सब्जी जिसको खा के लोग अंगुलि चाटने लगे - a food well cooked and delicious which makes people ask for more

When someone comments about you that you get angry easily or there is behavioural instability: the hardcore criminals, rapist, dacoits... are mentally strong and extremely stable otherwise they cannot do what they do! Are they good human beings? Why do you think you tend to distribute roses or sweets all the time? Statements starting with following words are sheer example of deceits and lack of confidence: Honestly speaking, In my frank opinion, Correct me if I am wrong, I may we wrong...

Experience vs. Knowledge

'Experience' is an attribute which is very often confused with knowledge and skill. While ‘knowledge’ defines the relevant information a person might possess, the actual application of the knowledge on real-life examples is the experience. Hence, in a job the experience plays important role because it prepares one to take future challenges. As we gain experience, it build confidence to apply the knowledge he/she has gained though academic and self-learning route to new application and foresee the challenges that might crop up. The analogy is between fresh wine as knowledge and old wine as experience even though the chemical composition of wine remains almost same.

With experience, our knowledge may or may not increase in proportion but our value and capability to serve a particular role increase. While the definition of "most relevant experience" for a job is debatable and varies from person to person, experience and capabilities are two complementary traits to assess a person for "fitness to a role". To a certain extent, a person who has been successful in one domain and gained experience in a particular area of work, it is highly likely that he will succeed another area of work not vastly different from the previous one. For example, a person teaching only algebra for last five years and rated as good tutor is very likely to succeed and be equally effective teacher in calculus or trigonometry if certain minimum qualification criteria are met. Hence, a 'relevant' experience indicates a person's ability to be productive right away similar to "ready-to-serve" food, a person's knowledge and capability defines the slope of time curve which will take him to be ready to deliver expected output.

  1. Do you mind if someone quote you later what you said in past?
  2. What switched you off that is what you dislike most about yourself and others?
  3. Do you like to be monitored and to what extent?
  4. If you are asked to implement an unpopular move, what will you do?
  5. What makes you not trust your manager?

Reference CAE Inc: These forward-looking statements include, without limitation, statements about our vision, strategies, plans, market trends and outlook, future revenues, capital spending, expansions and new initiatives, financial obligations, and expected sales. Forward-looking statements normally contain words like believe, expect, plan, intend, continue, estimate, may, will, should, strategy, future and other similar expressions or future or conditional verbs such as aim, anticipate, believe, could, expect, intend, may, plan, seek, should, strive and will.

A statement is forward-looking when it uses what we know and expect today to make a statement about the future. By their nature, forward-looking statements require us to make assumptions and are subject to inherent risks and uncertainties associated with our business which may cause actual results in future periods to differ materially from results indicated in forwardlooking statements. Products and services applicable for Simulation and CAE category are similar in many aspects and help companies of all sizes solve their business problems such as reducing product development time. However, pricing setup, and installation differ for businesses of different sizes.


How to Prepare a Business Case

A business case can be justification for any investment or it can an estimate of profit and loss of any new area of oppportunity. The main intent is to seek approval from the project sponsors and other interested parties.

Background Information:CFD (Flow and Thermal) simulations are computationally intensive and required not only high computational power, it requires high RAM machine for local processing of data
Typically, a 32 GB RAM machine can handle models with (tetrahedral) cell counts 20-30 millions with reasonable response time
Machines with 32 GB RAM take longer time to generate mesh, becomes unresponsive, does not allow to open MS-office programs, cannot be used for intensive post-processing such as generation of animations or velocity vectors on larger models (cells counts > 30 millions)
Description of Requirement: X new machine with RAM size Y GB which act as shared resource to handle key projects requiring large CPU memory
Business Objective: Reduce manual approach to mesh generation and use automated mesh generation features to reduce lead time
Reduce usage of server resources and costly solver licenses - local operation require different and cheaper license
Avoid frequent (soft- and hard-) reboot of machines leading to overload on IT personnel
Option Identification and Selection: Use available cluster or servers to post-process. This leads to blocking of server cores and solver license. Local post-processing will require only cores and no solver license.
Use existing high-end machine available with team. This is already in practice though only 2 engineers can use in a day and requires high data transfer time
Queue such projects with longer lead time category and inform customer accordingly
Cost: New machine with  32 GB RAM: INR 0.69 lakh (Dell T40)
New machine with 128 GB RAM: INR 1.39 lakh (HP Z4)
Benefit and Limitations: This is an incremental cost and is a pre-requisite to meet growing demand from customers. Expected return on investment is in terms of ability to maintain the UT while team is growing.
Note:
  1. Meshing Error: Insufficient memory available to complete mesh generation
  2. As per various software vendors, it requires 1.5 ~ 2.5 GB RAM per million cells

Starting a new activity

Step-1: What is the primary purpose? For example, [1]Make information available in a searchable webpage [2]Let others learn from your mistakes [3]Make is a passive source of income [4]Earning for a living i.e. primary source of incom ...

Step-2: Why do you want to do it? For example, [1]To get recognition among general public [2]To contribute to environment and social causes [3]To counter the myths and false narrative ...

As you can see, the statements listed in Step-1 and Step-2 overlap and can be interchanged. Hence, to define the objective, you need to ask yourself, "Why do I want to spend time on such things?".

The next step is to check the market size (number of users, renewal cycle, number of existing players...). For example, if you want to create a YouTube channels on "Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning", the repository of YouTube already have whatever topic one may think of and beyond that. Then, one need to think why a user should come to your channel - that is what "New or Unique offerings" you are going to provide?

Similarly, if you want to start a mechanical engineering blog, you need to understand the size (number) of unique visitors. As per news published in India, approximately 15 lakh engineers graduated in 2021. Out of that, around a lakh would be mechanical engineers. Hence, the maximum potential users for your blog would be four lakhs = 4 [duration of course] x 1 lakh [number of students enrolled for mechanical engineering]. This is too small a number to get any meaningful hits to your website and blogs - excluding similar portals already in active existence. However, the number may easily rise to 50 times if you are dealing with topics on Machine Learning. Not only students from many disciplines but also working professionals make up the potential visitors.


Delegation of work

There is limit to multi-tasking and some routine tasks needs to be delegated to subordinates. A clear-cut desription of tasks and instructions are pre-requisite to make the delegation effective. Some examples of delegation are:

Task Description Expected Action
Status update Weekly reporting on ongoing tasks and pipeline. Highlight expected delay, help needed and inputs awaited.
Resource planning Create forecast of man-power, hardware (computational resources) and software. Look for internal sources before outsoucing.
Assess training needs Collect information (based on project types) for competency enhancement (tool as well as product) needs

Delegation outside the Team

Sometimes delgation of responsibilities are needed to someone outside of the team due to small size of individual teams. The person A managing day-to-day activities with customer may have many colleagues with hyphenated reporting. In such cases, there are very likelyhood of issues with owernship of deliverables from each team member. Let's assume a case where person A is assigned functioanlly a member B who are administratively reporting to different manager C. In this case following can be a division of responsibilities between A and C.

A's Responsibilities C's responsibilities
  1. Ensure that B adheres to defined processes and communication channel(s)
  2. Ensure that all documents are maintained by B
  3. Facilitate the inputs, schedule and tracking of each task assigned to B
  1. Primarily responsibility is to provide necessary guidance to accomplish the task assigned to B
  2. Periodically review the quality of deliverables generated by B
  3. Address skill gap or performance issues brought to the notice by A

While C is responsible for organizational management such as leave approval, performance appraisal, behavioural training... for B, A is responsible for day-to-day activities for B such as process compliance, status updates, minutes of meetings, weekly or monthly reports...


Team Structure

Team Structure

A sample team structure can be as described below.

Lead Industry, Applications Tools Team
Responsibilities (Duties) Previleges (Rights) Names Member DutiesRights
Assess team capabilities
Allocate work, create pipeline
Review deliverables
Monitor targets
Forecast and bill revenue
Allocate tasks
Allocate shifts
Depute and delegate
Set targets
Upgrade skills
A Automotive FLUENT, CFX, ICEM CFD X11 Gupta, X12 Murthy, X13 Kumar Ensure Quality, Cost and Schedule
Get trained and skilled
Adhere company norms
Avoid being followed-up
Raise concerns in-time
Seek help, avoid delay
Get feedbacks
Attend trainings
B FMCG, Process Industry FLUENT, CFD-Post, FM Y11 Sinha, Y12 Kumar, Y13 Pandey
C Machinery, Buildings ANSA, STAR-CCM+ Z11 Yadav, Z12 Kumar, Z13 Prabhu
DElectronic Cooling ICEPAK, FloTHERM U11 Verma, U12 Singh, U13 Sarkar
E Aerospace, MedicalFLUENT, OpenFOAM, SU2V11 Pawar, V12 Gowda, V13 Rao
Prepare training modules
Assess competency gaps
Demand status of project issues
Enforce project reivews
G Specialist and Subject Matter Expert
FLUENT, ICEM CFD, FLUENT Mesher Engines, Multi-phase Flows, Combustion, Cavitation, Turbo-machines
H Specialist and Subject Matter Expert
ANSA, STAR-CCM+ Acoustics, Fluid-Structure Interaction, Erosion, Multi-physics

Commmon steps to outsource engineering activities: RFQ: Request for Quotation, SOW: Statement of Work

Steps Description of Activity Responsibility Lead Time [days]
Step-1:Prepare RFQ or SOW document A 2
Step-2:Get quotations from at least two vendors B 3
Step-3:Prepare business case and get approval from Department Head
  1. Reason: peak load, competency gap...
  2. Forecast of utilization of internal resources (manpower, hardware, software)
  3. Profit margin
B 3
Step-4:Create purchase request or get it created A 1
Step-5:Get the PO released Finance 5
Step-6:Upload the documents and inputs for execution of task by vendor A 1

Reference: Computer-aided engineering (CAE) on AWS empowers engineers to innovate: Today, computer-aided engineering (CAE) is standard in any industry that uses design software to develop new products or to create new features for existing products. CAE allows engineers to perform simulations of a product’s physical properties quickly by eliminating the need to build a physical prototype. Virtually all industries are using CAE in product development processes, including: automotive, aerospace, plant engineering, electronics, energy, and consumer goods.

Realistically simulating a product’s complex geometries and testing those in all conditions requires an immense amount of computing power. CAE simulations require storing and processing large amounts of data. Modern simulation tools, software as a service (SaaS) solvers, and cloud computing, have removed barriers to streamlining the difficult endeavor of CAE. Engineers can now leverage the power and speed of high performance computing (HPC) in the cloud to speed up the standard CAE workflow and significantly reduce the cost and time required for each design iteration cycle.

Reference: ANSYS White Papte: In areas of product engineering, digital transformation is already highly embedded – for example, CAE, CAD and CAM are now "must haves" for every manufacturing enterprise.


My experience while dealing with car sales personnel: Following observations are from buyer's perspective and it may be entirely different from salesman's perspective or understanding of the selling process. Other observations include the impact of second language: use of second language English demonstratively created confusion at many instances and it is better to have someone from buyer side who can converse in the same native language as that of seller.

S. No. Buyer's Perspective Sales Person's Perspective as viewed by Buyer Deal closure
1 The payment of booking amount is not a 100% confirmed decision to go with initial offering Push customer to adhere to the initial deal specially revenue or price part Used threat to cancel the deal to modify the offering
2 Invoice is not likely or even possible until car is delivered and the payment terms and deal is negotiable till final (full) payment is made Standard response: "This is not possible as the amount is already invoiced" Used threat to cancel the deal to modify the offering
3 The offer of exchange of a car "is not linked" with deal to buy the new car The offer of exchange of a car "is linked" with deal to buy the new car Settlement of car exchanged was done separately and no adjusted in payment made for new car
4 The price of accessories received during initial offering is negotiable Standard response: "The price is already invoiced and cannot be negotiated" No partial purchase of accessories made due to rigid stance by salesman
5 It was assumed (not explicit confirmed) that the car can be delivered 1 day after the full payment was made It takes minimum 3 days after the payment was made "before noon" Car was delivered the second day after full payment as saleman has to meet his personal committment
6 Buyer does not have to fully understand the deal or confirm the offerings at the time of booking - friends can be consulted to check utility of optional offerings The assumption was that the buyer has fully understood the deal and confirmed everything mentioned in offering document Buyer had to unwillingly accept the extended warranty. Cost of accessories was eliminated as described above.

Templates

Template Icon

Templates are great ways to standardize the operations and enhance efficiency. Templates can be used to have a commond documents for multiple roles and multiple activities. Below are some example of templates. In case you need to develope a customized template, please write to me at the e-mail address given at the top of the page.

Template for Target Setting and Performance Appraisal --- Excel-based Goal Setting Template

Printable Calendar: This is not a template but is useful to have a printable calendar. Source is unknown. Printable calendar for any year upto 2078

Business Case:

This template or similar can be evolved to standardize the communication at various level in an organization to get approval for expenses and procurements. Template for Business Case

Planning for source of incomes: Whether you have sources of income or not, some expenses are fixed and necessary. This excel can be used to plan various sources of income one may need based on current and future expenses. One need to account for lump-sum expense such as purchase of a car in monthly savings. Template to match source of incomes and expenses.

Template to plan items for a big feast (Bhandara or Bhoj): Template to prepare a list of items categorised as per their types, names of spices and vegetables written in English and Hindi. Items categorized for each of procurement and storage.

Template for Minutes of Meeting: A simple but highly effective template to capture action items, responsible persons' names and due dates.


Template for Employee or Team Database: A categories multisheet Excel file to manage team database for day to day use - not for confidential data. Many names defined to enable drop-down options.


Template for Business Growth Map: Businesses have complex dynamics and identification of key attributes are essential to look for growth lever. Human minds cannot process large number of data types and hence a lesser but sufficient number of attributes need to be captured.


Template for Input Tracker Sheet: For complex tasks, not all inputs are available at the start nor they are needed. A pre-defined list of inputs help track the availability of the inputs for smooth progress of the project. It is recommended to circulate the tracker sheet content in the body of an e-mails than sending as attachment.


Knowledge Management (KNM) Database and Folder Structure Template

Folder Structure

Main Folders
Business-Seg-1Business-Seg-2...Business-Seg-N
Sub-Seg-11Sub-Seg-21...Sub-Seg-N1
Sub-Seg-12Sub-Seg-22...Sub-Seg-N2
............

For example, if you are making platic components, Business Segments can be Toys, Home-Products, Farm-Equipments... and sub-segements can be Raw-Material, Moulds, Fixtures....

File Naming Convention
B-Seg-1_Sub-Seg-11_Domain_Application_rev_01.pptxB-Seg-2_Sub-Seg-11_Domain_Application_rev_01.pptx
B-Seg-2_Sub-Seg-21_Domain_Application_rev_01.pptxB-Seg-2_Sub-Seg-22_Domain_Application_rev_01.pptx
......

For the business mentioned above, the file names can be Toys_Raw-Materials_ABS_Glass-Filled_Rev_01.pptx, Farm-Equipments_Fixtures_PA66_Hoses_Rev_01.pptx and so on.


Business Accelerators (BAC) Database and Folder Structure Template

Directory Tree

Create folders named: Automation, pyScripts, Spreadsheets, vbScripts, Checklists, Templates....

Customer Presenation Records: It is important to record presentations made to customer and track them

Name presentation files and proposals so that they can be re-used: customerName_YYYY-MMM-DD_Business-Segment_Domain_Reve_01.pptx

Vendor Records and Database Template: Vendor-Buyer or Supplier-Customer relations are integral part of any business model. A good records of the facilities and capabilities of your collaborators are important to take buy-or-make decisions.


Meeting Agenda Template: Despite intense criticism of time wasted in meetings, such interactions are necessity of human approach at workplaces. A well-design agenda is the starting point to improve outcomes from meetings (to avoid wasting 'hours' to record 'minutes').

It is recommended to circulate the tracker sheet content in the body of an e-mails than sending as attachment. Typical agenda should have following headings:

Agenda of Visit: by XYZ Pvt
Date: DD-MM-YYYY Customer Name: XYZ Pvt Ltd, India, Delhi
Team: Design, Simulation, Procurement Customer Representatives: AB, BC, CD
S. No.Description of TopicsPresenterStart TimeDurationInternal ParticipantsMode of PresentationLocation of Presentation
01Company OverviewKumar10:3030 minutesPQ, RS, UVPowerPointConference Room X
02Design and SimulationKumar11:3030 minutesGH, JK, PHLab VisitTest Room Z
03---------
04Lunch-12:4545 minutesPQ, YZ, UVBuffetCafeteria Q
05---------
06Open RFQ and ProposalsSingh14:3060 minutesPQ, RS, UVSpreadsheet Q&AConference Room X

Interview Summary Records Template:

Interview

S. No.Candiate NameSource of ProfileOutcome of ScreeningReason for Rejection in ScreeningInterviewer(s)Outcome of Personal or Telephonic InterviewReason for Rejection

Some of the reasons for not selecting a candidate would be: No relevant experience, Experience far too higher than requirement, Lacked basics of simulation tasks, Tool knowledge not inline with overall industrial experience, Overall relevant skill not inline with total experience, No prior experience to manage a team, Not able to communicate or explain to technical questions, Lack of understanding about proposal preparation


Template for Pipeline and Project Forecasting:

S. No.Account NameProject DescriptionStatusExpected Start DateRequired ToolEstimated ScheduleRemark

Project pipelining can be a push system where members of a team are assigned the task by reporting manager. Or it can be a mix of push-pull system where a member can pull a task from a queue based on completion date of his/her current assignment.


Template to find out Root Cause of Business Stagnation:

S. No.AccountRevenue Growth in Last 3 yearsRevenue forecast for next 3 yearsEvents that led to GrowthWhy growth has stalled?Why value addition saturated?How many interactions with customer in last 3 quarters?Action points

Some of the discussion points could be: Pricing pressure from competitors, Not able to move up in the value chain of service offerings, Lag in resource replacement and augumentation, Customer's business not growing at healthy pace.


Template to find out Root Cause of any Problem Statement:

S. No.Problem StatementObservation FrequencyCategorySub-CategoryWhy did it occur?Why it could not be prevented?Why it could not be anticipated?Final CausePreventive Action

There are too many examples out there such as Pareto Analysis, 5-Why Analysis, Fish-Bone Diagram... This template is a condensed version of a 5-Why analysis.


Feedback Lifecycle Management Template:

S. No.InitiatorSubmission DateCategorySub-CategoryDescriptionOutcome of EvalutionInitiator Informed?Mode of IntimationReason for not Intimating the initiatorTicket closed by

Do not get trapped by someone asking for a feedback when they do not have a robust tracking mechanism. Whether the feedbacks are superficial in nature or worth pursuing should be recorded and informed to the initiator about final outcome.


Workshop Agenda Template:

Workshop

Workshop TitleImplementation of new employee database management systemVenueBuilding X, Conf. Room Y
Workshop Date12-Dec ~ 13-Dec-22Duration10:00 ~ 16:00
Mode of DiscussionIn-Person + RemoteNumber of Participants12 in-person, 15-remote though Google Meet
Key PresentersAB from XYZ, CD from PQRKey Organizing MembersRS, UV, JK
Topics of the Workshop
TopicDescriptionPresenterMode of Presentation
Topic-1Growth in CAE domainABPPT
Topic-2Lead time optimization for onboardingFGSpreadsheet
Topic-3.........
Expected Takeaways from the Workshop
Action points for each topic with responsible person's anme and planned completion dates
Summary of discussion points: ideas investigated and reason(s) for rejection/adoption
Feedback on effectiveness of the workshop and ideas for future improvements

It is recommended to circulate the tracker sheet content in the body of an e-mails than sending as attachment.


Jokes Icon

Boss in a meeting: "WE WANT CHANGE". The participants starts putting coins on the table... ha ha ha :)

Boss: How can we keep the office clean? Me: By staying at home.

HR: What’s your biggest weakness?, Me: Interviews, HR: And besides that?, Me: Follow up questions.

Boss: Just go to hell! Me: So, should I stay or leave? I’m confused.

If you ever feel useless, just remember that US took 4 Presidents, thousands of lives, trillions of dollars and 20 years to replace Taliban with Taliban..


THE SIX PHASES OF A PROJECT
  1. Enthusiasm
  2. Disillusionment
  3. Panic
  4. Search for the guilty
  5. Punishment of the innocent
  6. Praise and honor for the non-participants

Self-deprecation

Funny people are seen as more intelligent and skilled. During his presidential campaign, John F. Kennedy faced accusations that his wealthy father was attempting to buy the election. At the 1958 Gridiron dinner, Kennedy addressed those accusations by saying, "I just received the following wire from my generous daddy: Dear Jack, don't buy a single vote more than is necessary. I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide.


Business Jokes and One-liners
  • Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go! कुछ लोग जहां भी जाते हैं खुशी का कारण बनते हैं। दूसरे जब भी चले जाते हैं!
  • I do not take you seriously any way! मैं आपको गम्भिरता से वैसे भी नहीं लेता!
  • Doubting duck is better than quick dimbit
  • A crisis is when you cannot say "let's just forget the whole thing"
  • If an argument lasts more than 10 minutes, probably both sides are wrong! यदि कोई तर्क 10 मिनट से अधिक समय तक चलता है, तो शायद दोनों पक्ष गलत हैं!
  • There is nothing called "work-life balance", there are mostly "work-life choices"! "कार्य-जीवन संतुलन" नामक कुछ भी नहीं है, ज्यादातर "कार्य-जीवन विकल्प" हैं!
  • "सही समय" कभी नहीं होता है। यदि आप भविष्य की भविष्यवाणी नहीं कर सकते, तो आप सही समय की भविष्यवाणी नहीं कर सकते। There is never a "right time". If you cannot predict the future, you cannot predict the right time.
  • If love and care would produce high performers, more than 80% of families in the world would have one! अगर प्यार और देखभाल से उच्च प्रदर्शन करने वाला बनते हैं, तो दुनिया के 80% से अधिक परिवारों के पास एक होता!
  • If you dread Monday, your in the wrong place!
  • A 'consensus' means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually - Abba Eban. एक 'सर्वसम्मति' का अर्थ है कि हर कोई सामूहिक रूप से यह कहने के लिए सहमत है कि कोई भी व्यक्तिगत रूप से क्या विश्वास नहीं करता है
  • It is better to deserve honours and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them - Mark Twain
  • Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!
  • Your colleagues ego is inversely proportional to his knowledge and intellect.
  • Poor by thoughts or poor by means? Constipation of ideas and diarrhea of words!
  • Opposite of love is not hate, hate is not phobia! Differentiation is not discrimination.
  • Who said bad memory is bad. The people live in deep distress who remember everything.
  • Is there a sane definition of success?
  • Essential for some, useful for all!
  • Be emphatic, be caring, be forgiving but do not be a fool! प्रभावी बनो, परवाह करो, क्षमाशील बनो लेकिन मूर्ख मत बनो!
  • अच्छे बनो लेकिन शोषित मत बनो! Be nice but do not get exploited!
  • Wise men talk because they have something to say, fools talk because they have to say something!
  • Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted
  • You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard
  • Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.
  • When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves
  • Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous"
  • Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour
  • Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing
  • Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail
  • The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong - until the next person quits or is fired
  • There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over. इसे पहली बार सही करने के लिए कभी भी पर्याप्त समय नहीं होता है, लेकिन इसे फिर से करने के लिए हमेशा पर्याप्त समय होता है
  • If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it!
  • You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk
  • अगर आपको नहीं पता कि क्या करना है, तेजी से चलें और चिंतित दिखें When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried
  • You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like
  • No one gets sick on Wednesdays
  • The longer the title is, the less important the job
  • Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse
  • Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure
  • Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. ---James Baldwin
  • If you face dilemma to chose between finance and fiance, take a pragmatic approach and check which is easier to replace!
  • Some people are clouds, when they disappear - the day becomes beautiful!
  • Making mistakes is better than faking perfection - like some religions claim!
  • Sometimes it is not the person who change, only the masks come out! कभी-कभी इंसान नहीं बदलता, सिर्फ मुखौटे निकलते हैं!
  • Fake people and fake religions have an image to maintain. Real people and real religions just do not care!
  • यह कितनी हास्यास्पद बात है कि जो लोग आपके बारे में कम से कम जानते हैं वही सबसे अधिक बोलते हैं! How funny it is that the people who know the least about you have the most the say!
  • If people talk about you behind your back, that means you are in front and stay on your course!
  • एक बुद्धिमान व्यक्ति कभी भी सब कुछ नहीं जानता, केवल मूर्ख ही सब कुछ जानते हैं! A wise man never know all, only fools know everything!
  • You cannot force a person to respect you, but you can refuse to be disrespected! आप किसी व्यक्ति को आपका सम्मान करने के लिए मजबूर नहीं कर सकते, लेकिन आप अनादर से इंकार कर सकते हैं!
  • Who gossips with you will gossip about you! जो तुम्हारे साथ गपशप करेगा वह तुम्हारे बारे में गपशप करेगा!
  • जो लोग लगातार दूसरों को नियंत्रित करने की कोशिश करते हैं उनका खुद पर नियंत्रण नहीं होता है! People who continuously try to control others do not have control over themselves!

Correct Interpretation of Employee Traits

औसत - Average बहुत तीव्रबुद्धि नहीं - Not too bright
तर्क के साथ समस्याओं का समाधान - Approaches problems with logic काम करने के लिए किसी और को ढूंढता है - Finds someone else to do the job
असाधारण योग्यता - Exceptionally qualified कोई बड़ी गलती नहीं की है - Has committed no major blunders
बहुत रचनात्मक - Very creative वास्तविक काम के अलावा कुछ भी कर सकता है - Can do anything but actual work
संसाधनों का अच्छी तरह से उपयोग करता है - Uses resources well सब कुछ किसी और को सौंपता है - Delegates everything
असीमित क्षमता - Unlimited potential सेवानिवृत्ति तक हमारे साथ रहेंगे - Will stick with us until retirement
सामाजिक रूप से सक्रिय - Active socially खूब मद्यपान कर सकता है - Drinks heavily
निन्दा से ऊपर चरित्र - Character above reproach अभी भी कानून से एक कदम आगे - Still one step ahead of the law
तीव्र गति से सोचने वाला - Quick thinking त्रुटियों के लिए स्वीकार्य बहाने प्रस्तुत करता है - Offers plausible excuses for errors
निर्देश के प्रति उदासीन - Indifferent to instruction वरिष्ठों से अधिक जानता है - Knows more than superiors
वरिष्ठों के साथ व्यवहार करने में चतुर - Tactful in dealing with superiors जानता है कि कब मुंह बंद रखना है - Knows when to keep mouth shut
एक उत्सुक विश्लेषक - A keen analyst पूरी तरह से भ्रमित - Thoroughly confused
खुद को बखूबी अभिव्यक्त करता है - Expresses self well दो वाक्यों को एक साथ जोड़ सकता है- Can string two sentences together
काम पर अतिरिक्त घंटे बिताता है -Spends extra hours on the job दयनीय निजी जीवन - Miserable personal life
नेतृत्व के गुणों को प्रदर्शित करता है - Demonstrates qualities of leadership तेज आवाज है - Has a loud voice
निर्णय आमतौर पर सही होता है -Judgment is usually sound भाग्यशाली अब तक! - Lucky so far!
सिद्धांतों का दृढ़ता से पालन - Strong adherence to principles जिद्दी या अभिमानी - Stubborn or arrogant
संगठन के लिए बहुत ही महत्वपूर्ण - Of great value to the organization समय पर काम में आ जाता है - Turns in work on time
असामान्य रूप से वफादार है - Is unusually loyal किसी और को नहीं चाहिए - Wanted by no one else
मेहनती आदमी - Hard worker आमतौर पर कठिन तरीके से काम पुरा करता है - Usually does it the hard way
नौकरी में मजे लेता है - Enjoys job करने के लिए और अधिक काम की जरूरत है - Needs more to do
प्रसन्न - Happy बहुत अधिक भुगतान किया जाने वाला आदमी -Paid too much
अच्छी तरह से व्यवस्थित -Well organized बहुत ज्यादा व्यस्त दिखने वाला काम करता है - Does too much busywork
सक्षम - Competent पर्यवेक्षक मदद करे तो काम हो जाता है - Gets work done if supervisor helps
पर्यवेक्षक के साथ अक्सर परामर्श करता है - Consults with supervisor often कष्टप्रद - Annoying
काफी उपर तक जायेगा - Will go far हमेशा 'हां' आदमी - The 'Yes' man
प्रभावी ढंग से समय का उपयोग करता है - Uses time effectively घड़ी देखने वाला - Clock watcher

Case study: discussion at the end of a job interview!
Interviewer: I appreciate your interest to work with us. We will come back to you with our final assessment?
Candidate: Is there any time-frame you can share with me?
Interviewer: Not at the moment! We are in the process of evaluating few more candidates? Do you have any feedback on our selection process?
Candidate: What kind of feedback handling mechanism is in place here?
Interviewer: Thank you! We will call you if you get selected.
Question: do you find anything strange in this discussion?
Sample Training Plan

Training Icon

This can serve a starting point for a short and simple template to record progress of a self-paced training program.

S. No. Training Topic Tool Name Module Name Start Date End Date Evaluation Status
01 Geometry Defeaturing SpaceClaim Modules 01 ~ 10 01-Apr-20 15-Apr-20 CO
02 Mesh Generation ANSA Shell Meshing 16-Apr-20 30-Apr-20 CO
03 Mesh Generation FLUENT Meshing Modules 01 ~ 05 01-May-20 15-May-20 CO
04 Simulations ANSYS FLUENT Flow only simulations 16-May-20 31-May-20 CO
05 Simulations ANSYS FLUENT Conjugate Heat Transfer 01-Jun-20 15-Jun-20 IP
06 Simulations ANSYS FLUENT Rotating Frames, Porous Media 16-Jun-20 30-Jun-20 NS

Value addition and Service Offerings

Value can be added by providing better or extra services, provide customers with not only a satisfactory product but create a memorable experience for the customer. Example:
  1. Fulfill a Need
  2. Help with non-core applications
  3. Augment skilled resource
  4. Meet short-term requirement such as peak load or one-off case
  5. Create round-the-clock operation
  6. Vendor consolidation

Job Requirement
  1. Domain Skils: Automotive (OEM and Tier-1 suppliers dealing with ....), Industrial Products (pumps, valves, comsumer proucts...), Electronic cooling (PCB, MOSFET, Chip, Controllers Cooling simulations and Heat Sink design)
  2. Physics: Conjugate heat transfer (natural convection and forced convection with thermal radiation), porous-media, moving mesh, multiphase flow, acoustics... review result and reports, awareness about quality assurance and error prevention
  3. Tool Skills: ANSYS FLUENT, Ensight and CFD-Post, SpaceClaim, ANSA, ICEM CFD, CFX, OpenFOAM, ParaView, STAR-CCM+
  4. Documentation: Hands-on with advance features of MS PowerPoint and Excel, experience in preparing techno-commercial proposals
  5. Inter-personal: Ability to coach younger engineers, helps less experienced engineers in troubleshooting simulation related issues
  6. Location: India
  7. Duration: Permanent / Contract (6 months)
  8. Bill rate and Pay Rate: Bill rate (INR 800/hour, INR 1.28 lakh/month), Pay rate (INR 80,000 per month)
An alternate and concise description of a job can be as follows (the values do not reflect real-life situations):
S. No. Skill Category Requirement Remark
01 Experience ≤ 5 years Must
02 Tool Knowledge - Primary STAR-CCM+ Must
03 Tool Knowledge - Primary ANSA Must
04 Tool Knowledge - Secondary FLUENT, SpaceClaim Optional
05 Team Management ≥ 10 engineers Must
06 HVAC Automotive Systems Must
07 Electronic Cooling Telecom Devices Must
08 Tool Knowledge - OpenSource OpenFOAM, ParaView, HiFUN Desirable
09 Heat Transfer ≥ 10 projects on CHT (Conjugate Heat Transfer) Desirable
10 Aero-acoustics Basic understanding Desirable

Team-structure

Job Requirement (example statements): Drive and engage in investigations and studies related to validation of New Product Developments in (a)Chemical Industry such as Mixing Tanks (b)Thermal management system, its vision and its evolution... Collaborate with multi-functional team in the early-stage studies, pre-studies and advanced engineering initiatives to secure system and concept maturity. Develop and maintain good harmony and quality culture within and interface functions. A typical job requirement in mechanical engineering and a Team Lead can be as described below. This can be also interpreted as Roles and Responsibilities of the applicable person.

  1. Carry out flow and thermal simulation and maintain utilization (billable work) for the self ≥ 75% - some billable effor may come from mentoring/review efforts
  2. Review the tasks performed by colleagues and ensure timely delivery as well as First Time Right solutions to customers - plan review time at the start itself
  3. Plan a work pipeline for the team and monitor/update as new information flows in - clearly distinguish between the task performer and responsible person
  4. Project monthly revenue for the team (including self) and confirm that they are realized at the end of the month
  5. Identify skill gap (for the self) as well as the team and prepare development plan to improve the overall competency within the team
  6. Conduct and participate in interviews, weekly meetings and circulate regular project status update to all internal and external stakeholder
  7. Develop ability to handle short (near) term uncertainties and communicate affected parties quickly with different options - learn how to prioritize ongoing and pipelined tasks
  8. Get to know the persons and teams responsible for running the operations inside the company: IT, Hiring, Allowances, Procurement, Travel, Vendors...

A 'negative' list (things to avoid or not do) is equally important to improve clarity about roles and responsibilities

  1. Provide your insight and act tactfully: do not take other's task on your head. Know the escalation ladder and convey the issues discretely and timely manner
  2. Do not expect all the answers from your reporting manager - you can ask for opinions and approvals
  3. Do not commit a task without checking software, hardware and manpower resources - explore alternatives before saying 'No'
  4. Do not get carried away by weakness of a team member - allocate work/task as per his/her strengths and plan for multi-skilling
  5. Do not rely on your memory alone: take notes, maintain log, send minutes of meetings, develop a tracker sheet
  6. Do not take the person you are working with (such as subject matter expert or single point of contact) as substitue to your reporting manager.

Networking and Team Management applicable for Department Heads:

  • Cultivates personal networks in and outside of the organization and effectively uses relevant contacts to achieve results
  • Leverages internal/external interactions as networking opportunities to strategically exapnd businesses and parternership
  • Brings in innovative thinking to enhance existing business practices leading to rapid growth
  • Ensure the team is building successful channels for attracting, assessing and selecting the highest quality candidates in the most efficient manner
  • Develop creative approaches for identifying and recruiting high quality candidates, including implementing strategies that broaden the diversity and talent pool. This includes identification and implementation of strategies for recruiting both active and passive candidates across the team.
  • Budgeting for existing and future requirements

Process Improvemnt Ideas-PII
S. No. Short Description of the Idea Improvement Area, needs that get fulfilled Skills required to implement
001 Common database for IT (machine details, headphone, software, server ...) and facility (id, seat, shift, phone ...) Create dashboard for heads and leads Familiarity with non-technical matters and day-to-day activies in the organization
002 Re-classification of options in IT / HR / Admin helpdesk Few options are obsolete, few missing and ambiguous Excel and Word-processing: Classify old records of IT issues

List of typical activities in an organization. Note that order is neither important nor relevant.
Category Activities Need
Employee Hiring Workforce Management: Attrition, Growth, Replacement
Employee Performance Management Promotions, Increments, Transfers, Target Setting, Appraisals, Feedbacks
Employee Behavioural Trainings Make fit to company culture and help employees realize their potential
Employee Technical Trainings Competency Management System, Project Management, New skill, Cross-skill, New Role
Customer Projects Data Security, Proposal, Plan, Regular Update, Invoicing
Customer Engagement Capability Presentations, Data Transfer, Contract Management, Service Level Agreements
Finance Billing Generate Invoices, Record purchase orders, Maintain Timesheets
Finance Procurements Receipt and Expense Management, Hardware, Software, Vendor Management, Stationary
Finance Salaries Salary Management Systems, Reimbursements
Process Customer centric Quality Assurance, Corrective and Prediction Actions
Process Administrative Seat Management, Real Estate, Ensure Law of the Land
Process Short-term data Business Forecasts, Employee Statistics, Workforce Productivity, Travel, International Mobility
Process Medium-term data Employment History, Salary Slips, Training Records
Process Strategic (long-term) data Knowledge Management, Information Security Systems

Bahavioural Aspects in Performance Appraisal

  1. How the results have been achieved?
  2. How well does the employee plan and prioritizes their responsibilities?
  3. Attention to details and follows through on presentation/appearance of work?
  4. Is she/he efficient at multi-tasking?
  5. How consistent and dependable are his/her results?
  6. What level of accuracy and completion does he/she displays?
  7. Is he/she timely when responding to requests?
  8. Since last evaluation has his/her displayed improvements in specific areas?
  9. Is he/she looking for ways to be smarter and find new ways of working?
  10. Are you a person who is self directed?
  11. How much supervision is required?
  12. How much follow up is required?
  13. How willingly you assume your responsibilities?
  14. Do you own up your mistakes?
  15. How creative are you?
  16. Do you use independent and original thought?
  17. Do you introduce new concepts and processes?
  18. Do you challenge or accept the status quo?
  19. Bring 2 most valuable cases where you helped a colleague in crisis
  20. 2 cases when a colleague helped you in crisis like situation
  21. Cases where you did not get the help asked for or anticipated for.

Traits of Strong Teams
There are some traits of inherently strong and inherently weak teams. In sports, the "ability of bounce back" is a key characteristic of a strong team. After watching Kabaddi matches for over 3 years I concluded that an inherently weak team has most of the time not able to capitalize easier opportunities of inflicting all out to the opponent. In fact they conceded all out very soon when the stronger opponent bounced back. Similarly in cricket matches, a structurally weak team would give away few expensive overs or many wickets in quick succession when they are close to winning the matches. Thus, the "inability to capitalize on easy opportunities" is the key characteristic of an inherently weak team.
Fallacies

Fallacy = mistaken belief - an unsound questionable logic without factual evidence to support it. These are (a)defects that weaken the argument, (b)tend to be quite persausive, (c)Difficult to classify an argument as fallacies. Claims with sweeping words like All (सभी), None (कोइ नहीं), Every (प्रत्येक), Always (सदैव, सर्वदा, हमेशा), Never (कभी नहीं), Everyone (हर कोई, सब लोग) tend to contain some elements of fallacies. These are not inherently and/or necessarily bad arguments - they are deceptively false beliefs and half-truths!

Also known as cognitive distortions, there are inherent weaknesses in human thought-process as well as decision making. Not all decisions we make in our daily life are based on logical evaluation of pros and cons or use of checklists. While crossing the road, we do not try to guess the vehicle speed and time taken to cross the road. Most of the decision makings are based on intuition and heuristics. For example, we tend to 'believe' a good looking person or lady! As a climate is combination of weathers, biases are like 'climate', influenced by personal experiences, conditioning, training, upbringings, social circumstances, education...

  1. Ad Hominem (Argument to the Man): A common form is an attack on sincerity. For example, "How can you argue for vegetarianism when you wear leather shoes?"
  2. Needling: simply attempting to make the other person angry, without trying to address the argument at hand. Sometimes this is a delaying tactic.
  3. Straw Man (Fallacy of Extension): For example, the claim that "evolution means a dog giving birth to a cat."
  4. Burden of Proof: the claim that whatever has not yet been proved false must be true (or vice versa). Essentially the arguer claims that he should win by default if his opponent can't make a strong enough case.
  5. Slippery Slope Fallacy (Camel's Nose): there is an old saying about how if you allow a camel to poke his nose into the tent, soon the whole camel will follow. "If I make an exception for you then I shall have to make an exception for everyone."
https://www.ucl.ac.uk/clinical-psychology/competency-maps
All or nothing (binary) thinking Also referred as Polarized Thinking, Black and White Thinking or "my way or high way thinking", this refers to viewing a situation in only two categories rather than on a broader perspective (e.g. classifying events or beliefs as either good (right) or bad (wrong).
Catastrophising Predicting the future negatively without considering alternative outcomes disqualifying or discounting the positive – telling yourself that positive experiences/ qualities do not count. Usually the person exaggerates (or inappropriately shrink) the importance of insignificant events.
Emotional Reasoning "If I feel that way, it must be true". Reasoning from how you feel rather than from any evidence.
Labelling Putting a fixed, global label on self or others without considering evidence that would lead to a less disastrous conclusion magnification / minimisation - exaggerating the negative and minimising the positive (blowing things out of proportion or shrinking their importance). It usually involves use of words and language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.
Selective Abstraction Paying undue attention to negative detail rather than seeing the whole picture.
Mind-reading Making (negative) assumptions about the way in which others think about you when there is no evidence for this.
Over-generalisation Drawing a sweeping conclusions from a single of few incidents and applying it to related and to unrelated situations.
Personalisation Relating external events to yourself when there is no basis for making such a connection. It is literally taking everything personally, even when something is not meant in that way.
Imperatives statements Excessive use of 'should' and 'must' as a way of having an overprecise idea of how they and others should behave. Over-estimating the consequences of how bad it would be not to meet these expectations. It often leads to feeling of anger, frustration and resentment.

Universal List of Career Options - Work in Progress

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The content on CFDyna.com is being constantly refined and improvised with on-the-job experience, testing, and training. Examples might be simplified to improve insight into the physics and basic understanding. Linked pages, articles, references, and examples are constantly reviewed to reduce errors, but we cannot warrant full correctness of all content.