Funny Corporate Tales
Sarcasm involves saying one thing and meaning the opposite. Adapted from Reader's digest: Very few companies require any physical-fitness program. Everybody gets enough exercise 'jumping' to the conclusion, 'running' late to the meetings, 'dodging' the responsibilities, 'flexing' their muscle to prove their superiority, 'beating' around the bush, 'walking' around the policies, 'fudging' the data, 'painting' the grim picture of the situation and 'fighting' like fools!
Who will Bell the Cat? This is a story about four people named 'Everybody', 'Somebody', 'Anybody' and 'Nobody'. There was an important job to be done and 'Everybody' was asked to do it. 'Everybody' was sure 'Somebody' would do it. 'Anybody' could have done it, but 'Nobody' did it. 'Somebody' got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. 'Everybody' thought 'Anybody' could do it but 'Nobody' realized that 'Everybody' wouldn't do it. It ended up that 'Everybody' blamed 'Somebody' when 'Nobody' did what 'Anybody' could have done.
HERD MENTALITY: There are many versions of the tale. One version describes it Birbal's way to set the expectations right when Akbar was boasting about his supreme authority and absolute compliance he enjoyed from the public (subject, प्रजा) he ruled. Another version is based on the thought process of humans. Now Akabar-Birbal story: Once Akbar heard that every man thinks differently. He asked Birbal whether it is true or not? Birbal said, "No, Your Majesty! In fact, wise men think alike." Akbar was interested to know more about and said, "Birbal, You will have to prove your saying." The next day, Birbal asked all the attendants of the palace to empty the royal pond. Then he announced to the people in the city to pour a glass of milk in the pond during the night. He also informed Akbar on his act (and what Birbal expected in the pond the next day). The next day morning, Akbar and Birbal went to the pond to see the pond was filled with water. Akbar was surprised and asked Birbal, "Why this pond is filled with water instead of milk?" Birbal politely said, "Your Majesty! Everybody has deliberately poured a glass of water in the pond yesterday night. Because they think all others will pour milk and no one could find that they pour water in the pond." That is why it is said that "Wise men think alike".
Knowledge vs Skill vs Expertize
|ज्ञान Knowledge||दक्शता या निपुणता Skill and/or Competence||पारंगत और बुद्धिमत्ता Expertize and/or Intelligence|
|हथौरे से कील को लकड़ी मैं ठोका जा सकता है The fact that a hammer is used to force a nail in wood||हथौरे से कील को लकड़ी मैं सीधे तरीके से और बिना किसी नुकसान के एक ही प्रयास मैं ठोकना - the ability to use hammers and pierce nails in woods repeatedly without any damage||पहले एक पतली कील से मोटी कील की नोक के लिये रास्ता बनाना - use innovative methods to reduce the time and damage to apply nails of different diameters without need of special tools|
|स्वादिस्ट सब्जी के लिये विभिन्न प्रकार के मशाले, ताजी एवम अच्छी गुण्वत्ता की सामाग्री - information that good quality raw materials and spices are needed to make a vegetable||अच्छी तरह से पकाय हुआ सब्जी कम तेल के प्रयोग से - a well-cooked food||बहूत स्वादिस्ट सब्जी जिसको खा के लोग अंगुलि चाटने लगे - a food well cooked and delicious which makes people ask for more|
When someone comments about you that you get angry easily or there is behavioural instability: the harcore criminals, rapist, dacoits... are mentally strong and extremely stable. Are they good human beings? Why do you think you tend to distribute roses or sweets all the time? Statements starting with following words are sheer example of deceipts: Honestly speaking, In my frank opinion, Correct me if I am wrong,
Reference CAE Inc: These forward-looking statements include, without limitation, statements about our vision, strategies, plans, market trends and outlook, future revenues, capital spending, expansions and new initiatives, financial obligations, and expected sales. Forward-looking statements normally contain words like believe, expect, plan, intend, continue, estimate, may, will, should, strategy, future and other similar expressions or future or conditional verbs such as aim, anticipate, believe, could, expect, intend, may, plan, seek, should, strive and will.
A statement is forward-looking when it uses what we know and expect today to make a statement about the future. By their nature, forward-looking statements require us to make assumptions and are subject to inherent risks and uncertainties associated with our business which may cause actual results in future periods to differ materially from results indicated in forwardlooking statements. Products and services applicable for Simulation and CAE category are similar in many aspects and help companies of all sizes solve their business problems such as reducing product development time. However, pricing setup, and installation differ for businesses of different sizes.
A business case can be justification for any investment or it can an estimate of profit and loss of any new area of oppportunity. The main intent is to seek approval from the project sponsors and other interested parties.
|Background Information:||CFD (Flow and Thermal) simulations are computationally intensive and required not only high computational power, it requires high RAM machine for local processing of data|
|Typically, a 32 GB RAM machine can handle models with (tetrahedral) cell counts 20-30 millions with reasonable response time|
|Machines with 32 GB RAM take longer time to generate mesh, becomes unresponsive, does not allow to open MS-office programs, cannot be used for intensive post-processing such as generation of animations or velocity vectors on larger models (cells counts > 30 millions)|
|Description of Requirement:||X new machine with RAM size Y GB which act as shared resource to handle key projects requiring large CPU memory|
|Business Objective:||Reduce manual approach to mesh generation and use automated mesh generation features to reduce lead time|
|Reduce usage of server resources and costly solver licenses - local operation require different and cheaper license|
|Avoid frequent (soft- and hard-) reboot of machines leading to overload on IT personnel|
|Option Identification and Selection:||Use available cluster or servers to post-process. This leads to blocking of server cores and solver license. Local post-processing will require only cores and no solver license.|
|Use existing high-end machine available with team. This is already in practice though only 2 engineers can use in a day and requires high data transfer time|
|Queue such projects with longer lead time category and inform customer accordingly|
|Cost:||New machine with 32 GB RAM: INR 0.69 lakh (Dell T40)|
|New machine with 128 GB RAM: INR 1.39 lakh (HP Z4)|
|Benefit and Limitations:||This is an incremental cost and is a pre-requisite to meet growing demand from customers. Expected return on investment is in terms of ability to maintain the UT while team is growing.|
Starting a new activity
Step-1: What is the primary purpose? For example, Make information available in a searchable webpage Let others learn from your mistakes Make is a passive source of income Earning for a living i.e. primary source of incom ...
Step-2: Why do you want to do it? For example, To get recognition among general public To contribute to environment and social causes To counter the myths and false narrative ...
As you can see, the statements listed in Step-1 and Step-2 overlap and can be interchanged. Hence, to define the objective, you need to ask yourself, "Why do I want to spend time on such things?".The next step is to check the market size (number of users, renewal cycle, number of existing players...). For example, if you want to create a YouTube channels on "Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning", the repository of YouTube already have whatever topic one may think of and beyond that. Then, one need to think why a user should come to your channel - that is what "New or Unique offerings" you are going to provide?
Similarly, if you want to start a mechanical engineering blog, you need to understand the size (number) of unique visitors. As per news published in India, approximately 15 lakh engineers graduated in 2021. Out of that, around a lakh would be mechanical engineers. Hence, the maximum potential users for your blog would be four lakhs = 4 [duration of course] x 1 lakh [number of students enrolled for mechanical engineering]. This is too small a number to get any meaningful hits to your website and blogs - excluding similar portals already in active existence. However, the number may easily rise to 50 times if you are dealing with topics on Machine Learning. Not only students from many disciplines but also working professionals make up the potential visitors.
There is limit to multi-tasking and some routine tasks needs to be delegated to subordinates. A clear-cut desription of tasks and instructions are pre-requisite to make the delegation effective. Some examples of delegation are:
|Task Description||Expected Action|
|Status update||Weekly reporting on ongoing tasks and pipeline. Highlight expected delay, help needed and inputs awaited.|
|Resource planning||Create forecast of man-power, hardware (computational resources) and software. Look for internal sources before outsoucing.|
|Assess training needs||Collect information (based on project types) for competency enhancement (tool as well as product) needs|
A sample team structure can be as described below.
|Responsibilities (Duties)||Previleges (Rights)||Names||Member||Duties||Rights|
| Assess team capabilities |
Allocate work, create pipeline
Forecast and bill revenue
| Allocate tasks |
Depute and delegate
|A||Automotive||FLUENT, CFX, ICEM CFD||X11 Gupta, X12 Murthy, X13 Kumar||Ensure Quality, Cost and Schedule |
Get trained and skilled
Adhere company norms
Avoid being followed-up
|Raise concerns in-time |
Seek help, avoid delay
|B||FMCG, Process Industry||FLUENT, CFD-Post, FM||Y11 Sinha, Y12 Kumar, Y13 Pandey|
|C||Machinery, Buildings||ANSA, STAR-CCM+||Z11 Yadav, Z12 Kumar, Z13 Prabhu|
|D||Electronic Cooling||ICEPAK, FloTHERM||U11 Verma, U12 Singh, U13 Sarkar|
|E||Aerospace, Medical||FLUENT, OpenFOAM, SU2||V11 Pawar, V12 Gowda, V13 Rao|
| Prepare training modules |
Assess competency gaps
| Demand status of project issues |
Enforce project reivews
|G||Specialist and Subject Matter Expert|
|FLUENT, ICEM CFD, FLUENT Mesher||Engines, Multi-phase Flows, Combustion, Cavitation, Turbo-machines|
|H||Specialist and Subject Matter Expert|
|ANSA, STAR-CCM+||Acoustics, Fluid-Structure Interaction, Erosion, Multi-physics|
Commmon steps to outsource engineering activities: RFQ: Request for Quotation, SOW: Statement of Work
|Steps||Description of Activity||Responsibility||Lead Time [days]|
|Step-1:||Prepare RFQ or SOW document||A||2|
|Step-2:||Get quotations from at least two vendors||B||3|
|Step-3:||Prepare business case and get approval from Department Head ||B||3|
|Step-4:||Create purchase request or get it created||A||1|
|Step-5:||Get the PO released||Finance||5|
|Step-6:||Upload the documents and inputs for execution of task by vendor||A||1|
Reference: Computer-aided engineering (CAE) on AWS empowers engineers to innovate: Today, computer-aided engineering (CAE) is standard in any industry that uses design software to develop new products or to create new features for existing products. CAE allows engineers to perform simulations of a product’s physical properties quickly by eliminating the need to build a physical prototype. Virtually all industries are using CAE in product development processes, including: automotive, aerospace, plant engineering, electronics, energy, and consumer goods.
Realistically simulating a product’s complex geometries and testing those in all conditions requires an immense amount of computing power. CAE simulations require storing and processing large amounts of data. Modern simulation tools, software as a service (SaaS) solvers, and cloud computing, have removed barriers to streamlining the difficult endeavor of CAE. Engineers can now leverage the power and speed of high performance computing (HPC) in the cloud to speed up the standard CAE workflow and significantly reduce the cost and time required for each design iteration cycle.
Reference: ANSYS White Papte: In areas of product engineering, digital transformation is already highly embedded – for example, CAE, CAD and CAM are now "must haves" for every manufacturing enterprise.
Boss in a meeting: "WE WANT CHANGE". The participants starts putting coins on the table... ha ha ha :)
Boss: How can we keep the office clean? Me: By staying at home.
HR: What’s your biggest weakness?, Me: Interviews, HR: And besides that?, Me: Follow up questions.
Boss: Just go to hell! Me: So, should I stay or leave? I’m confused.
If you ever feel useless, just remember that US took 4 Presidents, thousands of lives, trillions of dollars and 20 years to replace Taliban with Taliban..
THE SIX PHASES OF A PROJECT
Correct Interpretation of Employee Traits
|औसत - Average||बहुत तीव्रबुद्धि नहीं - Not too bright|
|तर्क के साथ समस्याओं का समाधान - Approaches problems with logic||काम करने के लिए किसी और को ढूंढता है - Finds someone else to do the job|
|असाधारण योग्यता - Exceptionally qualified||कोई बड़ी गलती नहीं की है - Has committed no major blunders|
|बहुत रचनात्मक - Very creative||वास्तविक काम के अलावा कुछ भी कर सकता है - Can do anything but actual work|
|संसाधनों का अच्छी तरह से उपयोग करता है - Uses resources well||सब कुछ किसी और को सौंपता है - Delegates everything|
|असीमित क्षमता - Unlimited potential||सेवानिवृत्ति तक हमारे साथ रहेंगे - Will stick with us until retirement|
|सामाजिक रूप से सक्रिय - Active socially||खूब मद्यपान कर सकता है - Drinks heavily|
|निन्दा से ऊपर चरित्र - Character above reproach||अभी भी कानून से एक कदम आगे - Still one step ahead of the law|
|तीव्र गति से सोचने वाला - Quick thinking||त्रुटियों के लिए स्वीकार्य बहाने प्रस्तुत करता है - Offers plausible excuses for errors|
|निर्देश के प्रति उदासीन - Indifferent to instruction||वरिष्ठों से अधिक जानता है - Knows more than superiors|
|वरिष्ठों के साथ व्यवहार करने में चतुर - Tactful in dealing with superiors||जानता है कि कब मुंह बंद रखना है - Knows when to keep mouth shut|
|एक उत्सुक विश्लेषक - A keen analyst||पूरी तरह से भ्रमित - Thoroughly confused|
|खुद को बखूबी अभिव्यक्त करता है - Expresses self well||दो वाक्यों को एक साथ जोड़ सकता है- Can string two sentences together|
|काम पर अतिरिक्त घंटे बिताता है -Spends extra hours on the job||दयनीय निजी जीवन - Miserable personal life|
|नेतृत्व के गुणों को प्रदर्शित करता है - Demonstrates qualities of leadership||तेज आवाज है - Has a loud voice|
|निर्णय आमतौर पर सही होता है -Judgment is usually sound||भाग्यशाली अब तक! - Lucky so far!|
|सिद्धांतों का दृढ़ता से पालन - Strong adherence to principles||जिद्दी या अभिमानी - Stubborn or arrogant|
|संगठन के लिए बहुत ही महत्वपूर्ण - Of great value to the organization||समय पर काम में आ जाता है - Turns in work on time|
|असामान्य रूप से वफादार है - Is unusually loyal||किसी और को नहीं चाहिए - Wanted by no one else|
|मेहनती आदमी - Hard worker||आमतौर पर कठिन तरीके से काम पुरा करता है - Usually does it the hard way|
|नौकरी में मजे लेता है - Enjoys job||करने के लिए और अधिक काम की जरूरत है - Needs more to do|
|प्रसन्न - Happy||बहुत अधिक भुगतान किया जाने वाला आदमी -Paid too much|
|अच्छी तरह से व्यवस्थित -Well organized||बहुत ज्यादा व्यस्त दिखने वाला काम करता है - Does too much busywork|
|सक्षम - Competent||पर्यवेक्षक मदद करे तो काम हो जाता है - Gets work done if supervisor helps|
|पर्यवेक्षक के साथ अक्सर परामर्श करता है - Consults with supervisor often||कष्टप्रद - Annoying|
|काफी उपर तक जायेगा - Will go far||हमेशा 'हां' आदमी - The 'Yes' man|
|प्रभावी ढंग से समय का उपयोग करता है - Uses time effectively||घड़ी देखने वाला - Clock watcher|
With experience, our knowledge may or may not increase in proportion but our value and capability to serve a particular role increase. While the definition of "most relevant experience" for a job is debatable and varies from person to person, experience and capabilities are two complementary traits to assess a person for "fitness to a role". To a certain extent, a person who has been successful in one domain and gained experience in a particular area of work, it is highly likely that he will succeed another area of work not vastly different from the previous one. For example, a person teaching only algebra for last five years and rated as good tutor is very likely to succeed and be equally effective teacher in calculus or trigonometry if certain minimum qualification criteria are met. Hence, a 'relevant' experience indicates a person's ability to be productive right away similar to "ready-to-serve" food, a person's knowledge and capability defines the slope of time curve which will take him to be ready to deliver expected output.
This can serve a starting point for a short and simple template to record progress of a self-paced training program.
|S. No.||Training Topic||Tool Name||Module Name||Start Date||End Date||Evaluation Status|
|01||Geometry Defeaturing||SpaceClaim||Modules 01 ~ 10||01-Apr-20||15-Apr-20||CO|
|02||Mesh Generation||ANSA||Shell Meshing||16-Apr-20||30-Apr-20||CO|
|03||Mesh Generation||FLUENT Meshing||Modules 01 ~ 05||01-May-20||15-May-20||CO|
|04||Simulations||ANSYS FLUENT||Flow only simulations||16-May-20||31-May-20||CO|
|05||Simulations||ANSYS FLUENT||Conjugate Heat Transfer||01-Jun-20||15-Jun-20||IP|
|06||Simulations||ANSYS FLUENT||Rotating Frames, Porous Media||16-Jun-20||30-Jun-20||NS|
|Interviewer: I appreciate your interest to work with us. We will come back to you with our final assessment?|
|Candidate: Is there any time-frame you can share with me?|
|Interviewer: Not at the moment! We are in the process of evaluating few more candidates? Do you have any feedback on our selection process?|
|Candidate: What kind of feedback handling mechanism is in place here?|
|Interviewer: Thank you! We will call you if you get selected.|
Value addition and Service OfferingsValue can be added by providing better or extra services, provide customers with not only a satisfactory product but create a memorable experience for the customer. Example:
|S. No.||Skill Category||Requirement||Remark|
|01||Experience||≤ 5 years||Must|
|02||Tool Knowledge - Primary||STAR-CCM+||Must|
|03||Tool Knowledge - Primary||ANSA||Must|
|04||Tool Knowledge - Secondary||FLUENT, SpaceClaim||Optional|
|05||Team Management||≥ 10 engineers||Must|
|07||Electronic Cooling||Telecom Devices||Must|
|08||Tool Knowledge - OpenSource||OpenFOAM, ParaView, HiFUN||Desirable|
|09||Heat Transfer||≥ 10 projects on CHT (Conjugate Heat Transfer)||Desirable|
Job Requirement (example statements): Drive and engage in investigations and studies related to validation of New Product Developments in (a)Chemical Industry such as Mixing Tanks (b)Thermal management system, its vision and its evolution... Collaborate with multi-functional team in the early-stage studies, pre-studies and advanced engineering initiatives to secure system and concept maturity. Develop and maintain good harmony and quality culture within and interface functions. A typical job requirement in mechanical engineering and a Team Lead can be as described below. This can be also interpreted as Roles and Responsibilities of the applicable person.
A 'negative' list (things to avoid or not do) is equally important to improve clarity about roles and responsibilities
Networking and Team Management applicable for Department Heads:
|S. No.||Short Description of the Idea||Improvement Area, needs that get fulfilled||Skills required to implement|
|001||Common database for IT (machine details, headphone, software, server ...) and facility (id, seat, shift, phone ...)||Create dashboard for heads and leads||Familiarity with non-technical matters and day-to-day activies in the organization|
|002||Re-classification of options in IT / HR / Admin helpdesk||Few options are obsolete, few missing and ambiguous||Excel and Word-processing: Classify old records of IT issues|
|Employee||Hiring||Workforce Management: Attrition, Growth, Replacement|
|Employee||Performance Management||Promotions, Increments, Transfers, Target Setting, Appraisals, Feedbacks|
|Employee||Behavioural Trainings||Make fit to company culture and help employees realize their potential|
|Employee||Technical Trainings||Competency Management System, Project Management, New skill, Cross-skill, New Role|
|Customer||Projects||Data Security, Proposal, Plan, Regular Update, Invoicing|
|Customer||Engagement||Capability Presentations, Data Transfer, Contract Management, Service Level Agreements|
|Finance||Billing||Generate Invoices, Record purchase orders, Maintain Timesheets|
|Finance||Procurements||Receipt and Expense Management, Hardware, Software, Vendor Management, Stationary|
|Finance||Salaries||Salary Management Systems, Reimbursements|
|Process||Customer centric||Quality Assurance, Corrective and Prediction Actions|
|Process||Administrative||Seat Management, Real Estate, Ensure Law of the Land|
|Process||Short-term data||Business Forecasts, Employee Statistics, Workforce Productivity, Travel, International Mobility|
|Process||Medium-term data||Employment History, Salary Slips, Training Records|
|Process||Strategic (long-term) data||Knowledge Management, Information Security Systems|
Fallacy = mistaken belief - an unsound questionable logic without factual evidence to support it. These are (a)defects that weaken the argument, (b)tend to be quite persausive, (c)Difficult to classify an argument as fallacies. Claims with sweeping words like All (सभी), None (कोइ नहीं), Every (प्रत्येक), Always (सदैव, सर्वदा, हमेशा), Never (कभी नहीं), Everyone (हर कोई, सब लोग) tend to contain some elements of fallacies. These are not inherently and/or necessarily bad arguments - they are deceptively false beliefs and half-truths!
Also known as cognitive distortions, there are inherent weaknesses in human thought-process as well as decision making. Not all decisions we make in our daily life are based on logical evaluation of pros and cons or use of checklists. While crossing the road, we do not try to guess the vehicle speed and time taken to cross the road. Most of the decision makings are based on intuition and heuristics. For example, we tend to 'believe' a good looking person or lady! As a climate is combination of weathers, biases are like 'climate', influenced by personal experiences, conditioning, training, upbringings, social circumstances, education...
|All or nothing (binary) thinking||Also referred as Polarized Thinking, Black and White Thinking or "my way or high way thinking", this refers to viewing a situation in only two categories rather than on a broader perspective (e.g. classifying events or beliefs as either good (right) or bad (wrong).|
|Catastrophising||Predicting the future negatively without considering alternative outcomes disqualifying or discounting the positive – telling yourself that positive experiences/ qualities do not count. Usually the person exaggerates (or inappropriately shrink) the importance of insignificant events.|
|Emotional Reasoning||"If I feel that way, it must be true". Reasoning from how you feel rather than from any evidence.|
|Labelling||Putting a fixed, global label on self or others without considering evidence that would lead to a less disastrous conclusion magnification / minimisation - exaggerating the negative and minimising the positive (blowing things out of proportion or shrinking their importance). It usually involves use of words and language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.|
|Selective Abstraction||Paying undue attention to negative detail rather than seeing the whole picture.|
|Mind-reading||Making (negative) assumptions about the way in which others think about you when there is no evidence for this.|
|Over-generalisation||Drawing a sweeping conclusions from a single of few incidents and applying it to related and to unrelated situations.|
|Personalisation||Relating external events to yourself when there is no basis for making such a connection. It is literally taking everything personally, even when something is not meant in that way.|
|Imperatives statements||Excessive use of 'should' and 'must' as a way of having an overprecise idea of how they and others should behave. Over-estimating the consequences of how bad it would be not to meet these expectations. It often leads to feeling of anger, frustration and resentment.|
Universal List of Career Options - Work in Progress
Government: Defence, Bureaucracy | Administrative, Engineering, Finance, Procurement, Education, Information TechnologyPrivate:Engineering, Administrative, Finance, Procurement, Education, Information Technology
The content on CFDyna.com is being constantly refined and improvised with on-the-job experience, testing, and training. Examples might be simplified to improve insight into the physics and basic understanding. Linked pages, articles, references, and examples are constantly reviewed to reduce errors, but we cannot warrant full correctness of all content.
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