• Ironies of Corporate Life

Motivational Quotes

Adapted from Reader's digest: Very few companies require any physical-fitness program. Everybody gets enough exercise 'jumping' to the conclusion, 'running' late to the meetings, 'dodging' the responsibilities, 'flexing' their muscle to prove their superiority, 'beating' around the bush, 'walking' around the policies, 'fudging' the data, 'painting' the grim picture of the situation and 'fighting' like fools!

The following version of story is similar to a tale from Akabar-Birbal. This is a story about four people named 'Everybody', 'Somebody', 'Anybody' and 'Nobody'. There was an important job to be done and 'Everybody' was asked to do it. 'Everybody' was sure 'Somebody' would do it. 'Anybody' could have done it, but 'Nobody' did it. 'Somebody' got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. 'Everybody' thought 'Anybody' could do it but 'Nobody' realized that 'Everybody' wouldn't do it. It ended up that 'Everybody' blamed 'Somebody' when 'Nobody' did what 'Anybody' could have done.

There are many versions of the tale. One version describes it Birbal's way to set the expectations right when Akbar was boasting about his supremen authority and absolute compliance he enjoyed from the public (subject, प्रजा) he ruled. Another version is based on the thought process of humans. Now Akabar-Birbal story: Once Akbar heard that every man thinks differently. He asked Birbal whether it is true or not? Birbal said, "No, Your Majesty! In fact, wise men think alike." Akbar was interested to know more about and said, "Birbal, You will have to prove your saying." The next day, Birbal asked all the attendants of the palace to empty the royal pond. Then he announced to the people in the city to pour a glass of milk in the pond during the night. He also informed Akbar on his act (and what Birbal expected in the pond the next day). The next day morning, Akbar and Birbal went to the pond to see the pond was filled with water. Akbar was surprised and asked Birbal, "Why this pond is filled with water instead of milk?" Birbal politely said, "Your Majesty! Everybody has deliberately poured a glass of water in the pond yesterday night. Because they think all others will pour milk and no one could find that they pour water in the pond." That is why it is said that "Wise men think alike".



THE SIX PHASES OF A PROJECT

  1. Enthusiasm
  2. Disillusionment
  3. Panic
  4. Search for the guilty
  5. Punishment of the innocent
  6. Praise and honor for the non-participants

Business Jokes and One-liners
  • I do not take you seriously any way! मैं आपको गम्भिरता से वैसे भी नहीं लेता!
  • A crisis is when you cannot say "let's just forget the whole thing".
  • If an argument lasts more than 10 minutes, probably both sides are wrong!
  • There is nothing called "work-life balance", there are mostly "work-life choices"!
  • There is never a "right time". If you cannot predict the future, you cannot predict the right time.
  • If love and care would produce high performers, more than 80% of families in the world would have one.
  • If you dread Monday, your in the wrong place!
  • A 'consensus' means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually - Abba Eban
  • It is better to deserve honours and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them - Mark Twain
  • Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
  • Your colleagues ego is inversely proportional to his knowledge and intellect.
  • Poor by thoughts or poor by means?
  • Opposite of love is not hate, hate is not phobia! Differentiation is not discrimination.
  • Who said bad memory is bad. The people live in deep distress who remember everything.
  • Is it a sane definition of success?
  • Be emphatic, be caring, be forgiving but do not be a fool!
  • Be nice but do not get exploited!
  • Wise men talk because they have something to say, fools talk because they have to say something.
  • Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  • You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
  • Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.
  • When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
  • Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous".
  • Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
  • Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.
  • Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
  • The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong - until the next person quits or is fired.
  • There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over.
  • If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
  • You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
  • When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
  • You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.
  • No one gets sick on Wednesdays.
  • The longer the title is, the less important the job.
  • Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.
  • Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure.
  • If you face dilemma to chose between finance and fiance, take a pragmatic approach and check which is easier to replace!
  • Some people are clouds, when they disappear - the day becomes beautiful!
  • Making mistakes is better than faking perfection - like some religions claim!
  • Sometimes it is not the person who change, only the masks come out!
  • Fake people and fake religions have an image to maintain. Real people and real religions just do not care!
  • How funny it is that the people who know the least about you have the most the say!
  • If people talk about you behind your back, that means you are in front and stay on your course!
  • A wise man never know all, only fools know everything!
  • You cannot force a person to respect you, but you can refuse to be disrespected!
  • Who gossips with you will gossip about you!
  • People who continuously try to control others do not have control over themselves!

Correct Interpretation of Employee Traits

Average Not too bright
Approaches problems with logic Finds someone else to do the job
Exceptionally qualified Has committed no major blunders
Very creative Can do anything but actual work
Uses resources well Delegates everything
Unlimited potential Will stick with us until retirement
Active socially Drinks heavily
Character above reproach Still one step ahead of the law
Quick thinking Offers plausible excuses for errors
Indifferent to instruction Knows more than superiors
Tactful in dealing with superiors Knows when to keep mouth shut
A keen analyst Thoroughly confused
Expresses self well Can string two sentences together
Spends extra hours on the job Miserable personal life
Demonstrates qualities of leadership Has a loud voice
Judgment is usually sound Lucky so far!
Strong adherence to principles Stubborn, arrogant
Of great value to the organization Turns in work on time
Is unusually loyal Wanted by no-one else
Hard worker Usually does it the hard way
Enjoys job Needs more to do
Happy Paid too much
Well organized Does too much busywork
Competent Gets work done if supervisor helps
Consults with supervisor often Annoying
Will go far The 'Yes' man
Uses time effectively Clock watcher
Experience vs. Knowledge
'Experience' is an attribute which is very often confused with knowledge and skill. While ‘knowledge’ defines the relevant information a person might possess, the actual application of the knowledge on real-life examples is the experience. Hence, in a job the experience plays important role because it prepares one to take future challenges. As we gain experience, it build confidence to apply the knowledge he/she has gained though academic and self-learning route to new application and foresee the challenges that might crop up. The analogy is between fresh wine as knowledge and old wine as experience even though the chemical composition of wine remains almost same which is analogous to the knowledge.

With experience, our knowledge may or may not increase in proportion but our value and capability to serve a particular role increase. While the definition of "most relevant experience" for a job is debatable and varies from person to person, experience and capabilities are two complementary traits to assess a person for "fitness to a role". To a certain extent, a person who has been successful in one domain and gained experience in a particular area of work, it is highly likely that he will succeed another area of work not vastly different from the previous one. For example, a person teaching only algebra for last five years and rated as good tutor is very likely to succeed and be equally effective teacher in calculus or trigonometry if certain minimum qualification criteria are met. Hence, a 'relevant' experience indicates a person's ability to be productive right away similar to "ready-to-serve" food, a person's knowledge and capability defines the slope of time curve which will take him to be ready to deliver expected output.


Case study: discussion at the end of a job interview!
Interviewer: I appreciate your interest to work with us. We will come back to you with our final assessment?
Candidate: Is there any time-frame you can share with me?
Interviewer: Not at the moment! We are in the process of evaluating few more candidates? Do you have any feedback on our selection process?
Candidate: What kind of feedback handling mechanism is in place here?
Interviewer: Thank you! We will call you if you get selected.
Question: do you find anything strange in this discussion?
Typical list of activities in an organization.
Category Activities Activities
Employee Hiring Attrition
Contact us
Disclaimers and Policies

The content on CFDyna.com is being constantly refined and improvised with on-the-job experience, testing, and training. Examples might be simplified to improve insight into the physics and basic understanding. Linked pages, articles, references, and examples are constantly reviewed to reduce errors, but we cannot warrant full correctness of all content.